does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
