i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
