I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
