I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
