the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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