Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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