I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
