the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
sex in a hospital.. check
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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