I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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