I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you will always have a special place in my vag
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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