So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
