why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
