Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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