So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
