All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
