dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
