i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
