She's JV to your varsity
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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