I'm gonna have a badass scar
babies were throwing up all over the place
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
