Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
