It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
