I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
