this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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