The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
