I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
