I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
