Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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