Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
