if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
