Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
