I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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