We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
