Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
