i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
