How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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