the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
