Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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