So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
