i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
