so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
