Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
