Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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