i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
