I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
