let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think a kid would responsible me up
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
