good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
