My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
