We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
