Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
