He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
