I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
