I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
