I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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