Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
